


Une Force Rare

by miss_bugaboo (margaret_helstone)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, I have no idea where this will go or who else might appear, Ladynoir July, Ladynoir July 2020, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, i'm just going with the flow y'all, love square
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25020526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margaret_helstone/pseuds/miss_bugaboo
Summary: "Chat let his fingers hover over her fist, coming close enough to nearly brush the back of her hand with the tips of his claws, but not close enough for her to feel it distinctively.Ladybug wanted to scream."A short one-shot written for LadyNoir July 2020.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Une Force Rare

_C’est fort quand je le vois_ _  
_ _Je veux crier sur tous les toits_ _  
_ _Notre amour qui nous tend les bras_ _  
_ _Mais je sais que je ne dois pas_ _  
_ _Ce n’est pas le moment_ _  
_ _Il faut être patients_ _  
_ _Être patients_

 _It is strong when I see it_ _  
_ _I want to shout it out on all the rooftops_ _  
_ _Our love that reaches us_ _  
_ _But I know I shouldn’t_ _  
_ _It is not the moment_ _  
_ _We need to be patient_ _  
_ _Be patient_

* * *

"It doesn't matter, does it?" he asked the night before him, his words echoing in the cool Parisian air with a note of resignation that surpassed even the sadness in them. He was calm, he was composed, he was anything she could wish him to be, handling the situation with all the dignity of a true young gentleman.

A true hero.

And yet, as Ladybug watched his back, stiff and tense under his ebony suit, she couldn't help but regret every wish she had ever made regarding his conduct.

It would have been so much better if he had just screamed with annoyance at her.

"It doesn't matter if I say it or not," she heard him pick up after the shortest of pauses and refocused her wandering gaze at the back of his head; she wished she could look into his face instead, but clearly, that wasn't an option now... and who knew if maybe it wasn't for the best, for both of their sakes. "It doesn't matter if I hold back and pretend that I've moved on or if I throw caution to the wind and go back to telling you how much I actually care. Meaning, there really is no point acting as if I don't."

"Chat, please-" she tried to respond, but he gave her no chance.

"You know that I love you, Ladybug," he said, his voice as firm as it was cold. "You do, so don't hurt me even more pretending that you don't. It's bad enough as it is, without you treating me like a fool."

She nodded, biting her lower lip as she fought desperately in the battle against her own misery. There was a stinging behind her eyes and a wetness under her lashes; a lump rising in her throat and a headache she could feel coming.

Her nails dug against the palms of her hands, so deep that even the magical fabric of her costume wasn't enough to nullify the pain.

She saw Chat turn around slowly and suddenly, she realised that it was far more difficult not to look away on her part. She had _prayed_ for him to face her, she reminded herself, forcing her rebellious body to remain still and meeting her partner's gaze steadily. She would _not_ succumb to her own weakness and run, no matter how much she wanted to.

After all, she owed him that much.

"I do know," she whispered at last, hoping that her resolution would be enough to keep her from falling apart, if only for a little while. "But I never intended to hide it from you. I just... didn't think it would do any good bringing it up again. Perhaps I was the one being foolish this time."

He was closer now, so close that she could see that sad smile of his without even looking directly at it. It made her heart clench with pain; all the more so when she once again recalled that there really was nothing she could do about it.

They were in a pit, and there simply wasn't a way out at this point.

"Because you can't love me back, right?" Chat mused quietly. "But Ladybug, I _know_ that. You've been as clear as you could be and even if that weren't the case, the last two years would have been enough to teach me that sometimes you just can't change how things are. That... stubbornness... regardless of how noble the intentions might be, may often lead to suffering, for both of the parties involved.

"However, the same experience that made that clear to me also taught me something else. Namely, that no matter how much I try, what means I take, I just can't get over my feelings for you; and my hopeless endeavours to do so were exactly what hurt people most."

She felt it rather than saw his next movement, when he raised his hand and reached towards hers. Her instincts told her to step away, or at least to clasp her hands together in a way that would make it impossible for him to grasp her - and yet, that first first impulse was soon overcome by the next, one that made her freeze in space, unable to as much as lift her finger, and much less to make a motion that was not only conscious, but effective as well.

And then it turned out that all of it was of no importance, as Chat himself was the one restraining himself in the end.

She almost wished that he had gone through with it.

Yet, he didn't. Instead, he let his fingers hover over her fist, coming close enough to _nearly_ brush the back of her hand with the tips of his claws, but not close enough for her to feel it distinctively.

Ladybug wanted to scream.

"I'm not asking you to change your mind, you know," he continued in a hoarse whisper that matched her trembling murmurs from before. "Mostly because I know it's not your mind that needs changing. I've learnt first-hand that you can't make your heart feel differently than it does, whether you want to fall _in_ love or to fall _out_ of it... So, I would be an idiot trying to impose something like that on you."

"I've never felt that you did," Ladybug answered quickly, before he could start another monologue. She saw him raise an eyebrow at her and blushed, abashed. "I mean, I did in the early stages, I guess. In those first months of this whole superhero thing... At the time before you found a girlfriend two years ago. But never _after_ that."

"Even though you knew how I felt?"

She shrugged and crossed her arms, embracing her own body tightly. "Maybe? It's not like I knew all along, after all. I really _did_ believe that you'd moved on at first... I mean, you seemed to _glow_ whenever you mentioned that girl of yours, so it couldn't have all been fake. And even when I realised that you still thought about _me_ that way, it was different. _You_ were different."

"I thought I was," Chat agreed with a smile. This time, Ladybug _did_ sense his touch against her hand, before he stepped back and turned away from her. His hand rose to scratch the nape of his neck; once again, she had to restrain from reaching out and grasping it herself. "Though it's certainly good to know that it was more than my wishful thinking. The last thing I wanted was to make you uncomfortable, even if I knew the odds of that happening were slim. So, I'm relieved."

"I'm glad that you are," she offered with a weak smile of her own.

"And I swear that hasn't changed," he went on, as if he hadn't heard her say it; then again, it really could have been the case. "I'm not trying to convince you to reconsider your stance, or to give me a chance. I _know_ that I don't have any. The boy you've always talked about... I don't know if you've reached an understanding with him - quite frankly, I don't think I _want_ to know - but it's obvious that he still means the world to you. That in the same way that I was unable to get over you, you can't really give up on _him._ And it's _fine_ , it really is... Because I have no intention of standing in the way of that. All I want is for you to let me admit my own feelings and to acknowledge them. I won't ask for anything more than that."

He spun on his heel one more time, ready to face her. His initial animosity was long gone at this point, his trademark grin back in his place with no sarcastic vibe attached to it. There was a melancholy in it. Anguish, perhaps.

Nothing but that.

Ladybug watched him for a while, processing his speech, analysing word upon word of what he had said. She could almost feel herself drowning in all the warmth that had radiated from his assertions, the selflessness and attentiveness with which he had treated her for the longest time, unable and _unwilling_ to break the comforting silence with her own untimely response.

And yet, she was bound to respond.

"You're wrong about one thing," she chose to say eventually. "The boy you mentioned... He's not the reason why I'm keeping my distance with you."

The shock on his face was as great as it was expected, and it almost made Ladybug chuckle - or it surely would have, had the matter not been as serious as it was. Still, it made some of the tension between them dissolve; Ladybug quickly decided that it was an opportunity she should not allow to pass.

In for an inch, in for a mile.

"I don't want to play with your feelings, Chat, which is why I didn't say anything before. Maybe I shouldn't say anything now, either... But you were honest with me, and I feel it's only right if I repay you in kind," she explained carefully. "I don't want to go into details, not yet... However, I believe you have the right to know the reason I'm still keeping you at arm's length at times - or at least to know what _isn't_ that reason."

"So, what you're saying is... You're no longer in love with him?"

Again, Ladybug nodded.

"But... You still won't fall in love with _me_?"

His question resonated in her ears for a good few moments, silence falling over them once more as she let herself ponder over his words, trying to find a way to answer him in a way that would be both safe and sincere. There was still so much at risk, way too much for her to easily disregard the first of the requirements, yet at the same time, she couldn't lie to him about a matter so major.

Sadly, she couldn't exactly tell him that she _had_ fallen in love with him already, either.

Which was precisely what had happened. She couldn't tell how or when, though certainly not for the luck of trying to determine it ("I've fallen for _Chat Noir_ , Tikki! _When_ did I do that?!"), and no one, _no one_ had been more surprised than the young superheroine herself (again, not that she was in the position to tell anyone about this insanity). She didn't know if there was a specific moment or event that made her heart speed up for him, or even if there was one that only made her realise her advancing infatuation when she'd been in too deep to even think of going back.

It was unclear, unsettling, confusing... while simultaneously, the more time had passed since she had first accepted a _possibility_ of thinking of her friend in terms of romance, the more obviously natural it appeared.

Because she _did_ love Chat Noir.

Of course she did.

Still, it had taken her aback at first. When Adrien and Kagami broke up (a good five months after she had parted ways with Luka), she was sure that her treacherous heart would take over her brain again, making her go back to square one despite the progress she had made beforehand. Sure, she probably wouldn't fall apart every time Adrien might decide to talk to her when she'd been perfectly able to speak with full sentences (or paragraphs, when her creativeness struck her) for the majority of the previous _year_. However, that could hardly be a guarantee of her overall success.

Surprisingly, though, the catastrophe she had feared so much didn't come. Weeks and months had passed and the two became closer than ever before - and yet, their relationship never reached the point of being a romantic one. There were a few... _instances_ when it seemed it might go that way - a farewell embrace that lasted a little longer than necessary, a cheek kiss that held more to it than a traditional greeting required.

A few of the many night-time calls that hinted at the prospect of not remaining entirely platonic after all.

All those were one time incidents, too few and too trivial to be given any consideration afterwards. Nothing but hints which, not taken up by the other person, were left alone and forgotten about.

The funniest thing?

It was Adrien who dropped those hints most of the time.

But he wasn't petty or disappointed about it. They were friends - _best friends_ \- who also happened to be testing waters a little, after both of their relationships had gone south. She stopped doing it as soon as she realised to whom her heart really belonged now; Adrien went on with it still, though frankly speaking, it seemed more of a habit he'd developed than a serious offer on his part.

So there she was, head over heels in love with her other best partner and friend, who apparently never managed to get over _her_. A perfect situation with a perfect ending in sight.

_If only it was some other time._

"I'm sorry, what?" Chat asked suddenly, making her snap out of her reverie.

The disoriented look he was giving her made her realise that she had said the last part out loud and, not wanting to confuse him more, she rephrased, "The time. It's not the right time."

She had no trouble noticing the change in him, prompted by her words. His eyes widened behind the mask; his breathing hitched for a second while his mouth opened a bit, the hope and anxiety visible in every inch of his being.

Oh, how she wanted to tell him more! To run up to him and throw her arms around his neck, heedless to the risk that was bound to such an act. To forget about Hawkmoth and their duty to defeat him, of Chat Blanc and the tragedy meant to occur if they gave in to their own dreams and needs.

To tell him that she loved him and that she was sure she always would.

But she couldn't tell him that. Even if she made the condition of not becoming official and waiting until Hawkmoth is no more, it would have been to risky. Official or not, a couple or not, they would not be the same after the confession was made - and as much as she yearned to say the words, it was not something they could afford right now.

The moment just wasn't right.

So she stared back at him, their eyes locked together as she tried to convey her affection without making a statement itself. Then she took a deep breath and, making sure he was listening carefully, she asked:

"Will you wait for me, Chaton?"

The gleam of happiness she saw in his irises was all she could ever ask for.


End file.
